Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Valentine's Day Special--Worst Date Ever

We've all had them. Dates from hell.

In lieu of Valentine's Day, I thought it would be fun to share some torturous moments that all of us are forced to endure--dating. God help you if you are in the dating pool with the sharks and cads. What ever happened to men actually wooing a woman? We used to ask, "Did you kiss him on the first date?" Can anyone actually remember that? In today's world it's, "Did you sleep with him on the first date?" Are you freaking kidding me? No woo... no can do!

Prior to meeting my wonderful dh of 21 years, I had some winners. I'm hoping someone can top me!

I double-dated (aren't those the best?) with a friend of mine and a 'college boy,' only to be taken to a cemetery in the dark hours of the night. Mmm... maybe if I was Bella and the guy looked even remotely close to Edward or Jacob.

Another date I had was with a man who worked at Daily's. When we found out we had absolutely nothing in common, he proceeded to instruct me the entire time on the different products Daily's made. You know, orange juice, popsicles. Yes, let's talk about popsicles and all of the different flavors offered for two hours straight! Yikes!

So I'm attending a really nice dinner and having a reasonable conversation with a seemingly normal guy. Bill comes. "I don't have my wallet." Kill me now.

While I'm ranting, let's go back 'several' years. Prom Night. My 'escort' popped an entire box of No Dose and was ill the entire night. I managed to have a good time by myself, but seriously.

And the best for last... I'm in college. Far away from home. Made a few friends and this is my first college date. He drops me off and is sitting in my living room. He wipes the sweat from his brow and starts to look unwell. "Victoria, there's something I must tell you." Casting me a serious look, he grabs my hand. "I worship the devil. If you want, I can bring him here right now." Pulling out Runes from his pocket, he tosses them on my table.

How could I possibly make this up? Care to share your worst date ever?


  1. Beautiful blog, Victoria. Love the pictures and the feel of it.

    I dated a computer geeky guy, now this was quite a while ago. He lived at home (should have been a clue), and he borrowed his Dad's red Thunderbird. He didn't date very much, but our parents were friends from church, and our mothers got together (another clue there) and decided it would be good for him, mostly, to take me out.
    He could hardly see behind his bottlejars! He had a lisp, wore his pants halfway to his nipples (yes, he had those too). I tried to be nice. I really did. We went to a beautiful restaurant with views of the whole San Francisco bay. I was homesick for anybody, even his pimple-faced friend.
    But I lost it when he said it would be all right if I "snuggled up close" to him as he was driving me home.
    I looked at him with tears in my eyes, and said, sadly, "No. I'm sorry. I can't do that."
    What makes this a really really really bad date is the fact that, some years later, I learned he lost the glasses, trimmed down and became a startup Bijillionnaire!!
    But I'm hoping, in my little romance heart of hearts, that he got the girl he truly deserved. Because the truth was/is, I was not up to his standard.

  2. Oh, I love this, Victoria! What a great idea. My worst date ever? I've had a few bad ones but the worst single date was with a guy I'd met on December 18th. It was on or about January 18th and we'd been out and then returned to his house to watch television for a little while before he took me home. The really bad part was that I fell asleep on his couch and didn't wake up until the following morning at 6:00 a.m. (I still lived at home--I was still in college--and my father was just a TAD old-fashioned.) To make matters worse, I was supposed to be at work by 6:30 and didn't have a uniform with me--I lived about half an hour away from the guy's house and it was another half-hour back to work. The guy took me home and faced the music with my dad. It didn't turn out all bad, though. He asked me to marry him on February 13th and that was just short of 40 lovely years ago. I SWEAR I can't think where they all went! So maybe Shakespeare had it right after all..."all's well that end's well"!

  3. LOL ladies! We should write a book compiling all of our bad date stories. Although, Donna... you're still married to yours! That's great!

  4. What a wonderful blog post - thanks for sharing. Honestly, I can't really think of a "bad date"...I can think of plenty of "bad boyfriends". Luckily those days are long gone! Can't wait to see what others say about their "bad dates".

  5. My ex-husband once took me on a valentines date and presented me with a pot of flowers. While his jester was meant to be kind, when I picked them up, I wondered why they seemed to weigh a ton. It was then that I realized the pot was filled with concrete and the flowers were CEMETARY flowers. As a last minute shopper, he didn't live that one down for a long time.

  6. Sounds like you've had more than your fair share of losers, Victoria! Can't even come close to the Rune Man experience. Glad you can laugh about it now :-)

  7. Worst date? Hmm...have you ever been to a monster truck pull INSIDE an inadequately ventilated arena? Yep. You guessed it. The carbon-monoxide slammed me with an unbearable headache and nausea. When Mr. Inconsiderate complained that I was just "acting" sick because I didn't like his choice of entertainment, I convinced him I was truly ill. I puked in his lap. He didn't call me again. Can't imagine why? ;-)

  8. You ladies have certainly provided some great entertainment. My dh just keeps shaking his head. Served him right, Maeve!

  9. I don't have one worst experience, but my sister and my brother-in-law's birthdays both fall on February 14th. Needless to say, they've all been spent with too many family members to be romantic!